From Homechoice to No Choice
October 22, 2007
Homechoice in action
Three years ago I decided to get Homechoice as I thought it a great product that offered phone, internet and on-demand services, as well a replay, a sort of budget catch-up service, all for around 20 quid a month.
I even recommended it to three friends who all subsequently took up the service. It had innovative things like the Kids Minimote, and a in 2005 got a snazzy new image desinged by Nevil Brody.
But ever since Tiscali took over the service has been run into the ground. Also if you’re an original homechoice user you’re on a worse deal that a new Tiscali subscriber. I’ve had loads of drop outs, crashes, poor customer service, and replacement boxes. It been BTs fault, it’s been my ‘distance from the exchange’, or the wiring in my building. But never the fact that they’ve not got teh oomph to deliver the product.
Well I’ve had enough. I’ve cancelled Homechoice, it was good once, but the sell out to Tiscali and rapid expansion into other UK cities has come at a cost to the infrastructure and customer support.
Think very hard before you take up this product. And if anyone from Homechoice wants to speak to me its eyedropper - at - mac - dot - com
AOP awards and RTS Futures talks
October 9, 2007
I’ve not posted for a while as my personal life’s in a bit of a tailspin…
…consequently I’ve been seeking solace at various champagne fuelled receptions, talks and awards do’s. First up 4oD was nominated for a Association of Online Publishers awards last Wednesday evening, for best Launch campaign (The big talent-filled vending machine one) After a comedy of errors mix up with the tickets that saw no one wanting to go, then everyone wanting to go once the rumour came round that we’d won, our table was eventually sorted, and I, as feeder of images into the beast duly rented the cheapest tux the Moss Brothers had to offer.
I’ve been to the AOP awards before, it’s a right boozy affair, that normally sees News International lot boo the Guardian, and everyone boo the BBC perhaps rather unfairly. My ex-colleagues at BBC food were robbed by the current bun for best use of video. Anyway, Paul and I went up to collect the trophy which have to be the cheapest in awardland, consisting of a sheet of paper in a plastic clip frame. There’s also a sit down dinner, and the food was just as bad as last year. The starter was salmon and avocado, it was that sort of bright matt pink cold smoked salmon that makes you do the gag reflex, dressing was ok though. Next up the mains, a slow-cooked fall apart when touched with a folk piece of beef in sauce which was actually rather nice, run-of-the-mill dauphinoise and the obligatory squeaky green beans. Dessert was a pongy eggy apple soufflé. I then proceeded to get smashed, talk shit and tumble into a cab home.
A couple of weeks before this I went to the RTS Futures panel talk at Madam Tussauds. The panel was chaired by Hardeep Singh Kohli and consisted of the Ash Attila, Charlie Brooker, Victoria Coren, and Alex Zane. Much telly was discussed, and the points raised ranged from ‘hard work will get you there’ from Ash, to ‘Be nice to people’ from Victoria and Charlie. Alex Zane made a good point about the return to live TV. How with shows like The Word you never quite knew what you were gonna get, they had an edginess to them. There was some rather dull Q&A, with most young people saying things like ‘I’m being made to ask people trick questions so they’ll look stupid in the edit’ ‘my producer’s a bully and I’m doing this because if I don’t someone else will’ and ‘I’m not getting any training on anything’.
The panel very kindly stuck around for a drink and I cornered Alex Zane by the Hitler and Churchill figures. He talked about how shows like Friday Night Project and Charlotte Church should be live, how hosts now are too beholden to agents, PR people and marketeers, about how it’s ok to piss talent off once in a while (as his spat with the Enemy testifies). We talked about The Big Breakfast, Shaun Rider on TFI Friday, and about The Word some more. Alex Zane is probably too young to remember this, but there was a US glam rock band called Warrant in the early 90s who went on The Word to sing their hit ‘Cherry Pie’ as the credits rolled. Little did they know that the audience were planning to pelt them with real cherry pies. The singer stopped mid way through due to taking one right in the face and the whole thing ended in a farce. Live, naughty, edgy, it was obviously the talk of the 6th form common room the next day. It’s this that Alex, coming from radio, is on about. Not juswhat! And give up show business!t a tit flash or swearing, but the potential for things to go wrong, for celebs and guests to actually have to know what they’re talking about and be put on the spot rather than have their handlers shout ‘cut’.
But on the way home I started to think about why any 20 year old nowadays would want to work in TV, especially at the moment. Most of the established names in TV got their in a different age. Working with most exec producers these days is like being in a band and thinking it’s ok to let your dad decided the musical direction. There’s talk in TV about ‘getting to the top’, about standing on the corpses of all the other media graduates to make it.. Well perhaps that was fine when broadcasting was based on a scarcity of spectrum and prohibitive costs, nowadays bandwidth, distribution, cameras and mates are cheap. To sum up, if you’re in your 20s nowadays and want to make programmes, get a camera and follow your mate’s band, or interview your family, go on nights out and film that, make the films and programmes no one else is making because they can’t. Sure you might fail, but you’ll have done something genuine and it’s sure better than fetching coffee for Loraine Kelly guests. There’s the old joke about the guy who cleans up the elephant shit at the circus, and when someone asks him why he doesn’t get a different job, he says ‘what! And give up show business!’
Victoria Coren made a good point. ‘Anyone who’s done anything ground breaking or revolutionary in TV has done it because they’ve managed to get it done under the radar with out anybody knowing or finding out’, or they’ve just found away to do it and got on with it I reckon. It’s not so much standing on the dead of your generation as fighting the saloon driving, villa owning generation in front of you. You’ve got to have a blinder of an idea mind. Coren went on to talk about Oz Clark and James May’s Big Wine Adventure - the premise of which is the expert with the sceptic - and how she fielded a phone call from someone at the BBC that went ‘Is there anything you really know a lot about and would like to share with someone, or conversely, is there a subject you don’t know much about but would like to know more?’ And you can bet it was some poor nervous untrained AP who they got to do it.
BBC London boy Barbet goes bigtime on breakfast!
July 27, 2007
Thought I’d overslept this morning as I turned on the TV to hear BBC London presenter Matt Barbet, must be the 8 o’ clock bulletin… But wait! He’s on the sofa with national sex bomb Suzanna Reid?! Confused first thing in the morning?! I was. He did the show on Saturday, perhaps as a screen test. Matt’s very popular with the ladies too apparently, there’s an interview with him here.
So it would seem King Durmers has an heir apparent! Wonder what Susanna thought, was it me or did I detect a slight hand holding? Heading up the flagship morning show is a lot harder than reading the news in the regional bulletins. You’ve got to have charm, wit, and be able to think on your feet. I thought he handled the interview with Barbara Pointon about her husband’s death from Alzheimer’s very well. I also thought she was an incredibly strong and brave woman, all credit to her for being in the film, natch certain groups are up in arms, despite Barbara defending the film maker.
I’ve noticed on Breakfast that when the interview is with a high ranking politician, it’s always seems to be Bill or Durmot who does the interview, I wonder if there’s a hierarchy?
So well done Matt, local boy done good (even though he’s from Cheshire) And here’s siren Susanna thrashing grandpa Bill on the Wii, (back to the bee’s billy!) And some images of her in full flow.
You’re not my bionic muvvah!
July 25, 2007
Thanks to a chum in C4 I got to see the pilot for the new Bionic Woman starring Michelle Ryan, known to us in Blighty as Zoe Slater. You can understand why she wanted out of ‘Enders after the script called for her finding out that her sister’s her mum, her mum’s her gran, her uncle’s her dad and her dad’s her grandpa. (Proof if it were needed that Ender’s lost it years ago)
So it was off to the USA and the big screen and the lead role as the Bionic woman. Pilot’s are always difficult to judge and this is no exception. It felt liked they’d squeezed too much into it, trying to cover to many bases and, well it just felt lacklustre is all I can say. I also felt they could have implemented the technology better, like how Battlestar added whole new layers of complexity with the religious angle. The bionic eye for example was a reticle that swooped round looking for a target, all very HUDy, but just felt really pedestrian. This could have been more of an ability. And if you’re into amputees, there’s a bit where she’s got no legs.
The show trades on it’s Battlestar connections both in front and behind the camera, I didn’t really get a sense of malice from Katee Sackhoff as the baddie of the piece, and why is it that female heroes always face up to female villains? And ‘The Chief’ seemed to be there to earn some pin money.
So on the whole not so much re-imagining as re-hashing. But who knows, it may bed in in the future. Good luck to Michelle Ryan though, as I think she’s quite a honey and would be my top cast if I were making ‘Pre-Rahpealites: The Movie’.
Message to Wayne Hemingway…
June 26, 2007
.. it’s just pronouced ‘flicker’ not ‘Flickcaaaaaaaaarh‘ as you said on BBC Breakfast this morning!
ITV - Tough Gig - Episode 2 - Dara OBriain
June 21, 2007
ITV - Tough Gig - Episode 2 - Dara OBriainReally enjoyed the other night, great to see something original, interesting and watchable on ITV… they returned to form with Cops with Camera’s after the news mind. Larping, even people who play Warhammer and D&D think larping’s weird. Most blokes have been paint balling on stagnights, but who goes larping? D12 hitpoints with +1 agression modifier - attack!!
I could eat a horse.
May 8, 2007
Channel 4, like the BBC and other broadcasters, has a viewer enquiry team who handle calls, letters and emails from members of the public on a variety of issues from “my picture looks funny” to “I can not believe you are going to transmit a programme that endorses the consumption of horsemeat.”.
The horsemeat quote is in relation to a the new series of Gordon Ramsay’s F Word, in which Janet Street-Porter (who let’s face it is a touch equine in appearace) buys some horse meat in France and gallops back to the Cheltenham Festival to set up a catering stand for hungry race goers. It’s part of a strand in the programme where she looks at other sources of food such as goat meat (very popular with Africans and West Indian’s in this country) . Surely we can all see this is publicity stunt surrounding what is actually a very interesting issue. There’s been things like this before, ‘Cooking in the Dangerzone’ had dog, seal, etc. 10 years ago people thought sushi was disgusting, most still do.
There were a handful of other calls on the same subject, and no doubt Channel 4 will get more post-TX. Bare in mind that this hasn’t TX’d yet.. it’s going out on May 22nd I believe. So what people were annoyed about (surprise surprise) is the idea of something that they’ve read in the papers… Metro had it’s usual rehash of the Evening Standard’s piece claiming a ‘new row over Ramsay’s horse BBQ’
Actually Jane Fryer’s piece at least acknowledges the fact that horse meat was regularly eaten in this country until the end of the war. I read somewhere that it was sometimes sold as ‘French Beef’ as us English sure do love a euphemism.
Michele Hanson in ‘Comment is Free’ asks ‘Gordon Ramsay wants us to eat horses. If you must have meat, why not make it greyhound?’ (First catch your greyhound) as well as a ill thought out rant for turning vegetarian.
I’ve eaten horse (on a pizza in Venice). And I’d eat pretty much any other animal too. Hey in Peru they eat guinea pigs – we eat rabbits, who cares, as long as it’s ethically raised, not endangered, tasty and you’re hungry. The British have such an bi-polar relationship with animals, witness the recent Sony Goat debacle where a goat bought from a butchers was used as a prop in a PR launch, and the story was again whipped up by… the Daily Mail. It’s like we’re returning to the Victorian attitudes, where ‘it was incorrect to comment on the food before one, even in praise, on the ground that such remarks would be too naked an expression of ‘animal and sensual gratification’. (source: Drink. By Andrew Barr)
Now if you want to see sensationalist eating of horse flesh in the cheap name of entertainment.. see this section of Fear Factor, where two ladies have to eat cooked horse rectum.And here’s the recipe, thanks internet!
KARTA - horse rectumFrom the Kazakhstan National Cooking Web Page
INGREDIENTS:* 100 g of karta* salt* green pepper or dill to taste
PREPARATION:The thick part of the rectum is washed without removing fat, then carefully turned inside out so that the fat is on the inside. The meat is washed once more and both ends are tied. Karta can also be dried and smoked. To dry it karta is covered with fine salt and kept in a cool place for one or two days, then dried. Karta is smoked over 24 hours, then dried over 2-3 days. After washing it well, karta is then boiled for 2 hours on slow fire. Before serving it is cut into rings and decorated with green pepper or dill.
Yum bring on the Horse Bum!
Fix Bayonets! BBC Worldwide lays out digital plans
March 6, 2007
Media Guardian article. Well that’s very interesting isn’t it? It’s been on the cards for a while, the whole development of bbc.com into a global ad funded portal. Plugging in the iPlayer technology into that surely had to happen.
from TFA Mr Smith said that the commercial iPlayer would be as sexy and must-have as iTunes, and would be stand out from other offerings in digital download market due to the quality of its content. Ooooh bold statement!
I thought this interesting too The third element of Worldwide’s strategy will be a series of community websites based around BBC brands such as Top Gear and Good Food. And what this means for the traditional editorial offering within the ‘proper’ BBC (see what I did there) From my experience there’s all ready a bun fight over brands such as top gear, Roly would like to own it within the channel, iF&L own it in the petals and worldwide own the website of the magazine of the show (phew).
Finally Commenting on “the digital revolution”, Mr Smith said the BBC is now moving in the same direction as consumers. “There are really only two sorts of men in a revolution: those who cause them and those who profit from them,” he added. “As we haven’t caused the revolution, there’s clearly one thing to do.”
Profit by it it seems. Interesting that he finished of with that quote from Napolean Boneaparte, here’s some others that are perhaps just as apt. How about:
A revolution is an idea which has found its bayonets.
followed by
Four hostile newspapers are more to be feared than a thousand bayonets.
And finally..
Men are moved by two levers only: fear and self interest.
_______________________
More HR shiftage in medialand today as well, with Julian Bellamy coming back to Channel4. Interesting that Emma Swain has been appointed the temporary controller of Three over perhaps Elaine Bedell. Meanwhile I’m hoping Kevin Lygo’s new beefed up role at C4 will be truly 360 in scope. The job title as ‘head of television and content’ sort of implies there’s telly, oh and all this other separate stuff. Isn’t it all content Kev?
PS. Napolean also gave us “A picture is worth a thousand words.” the cheeky wee despot sure had an eye for the power of the image.
Jamie Oliver: Schooldinners
September 19, 2006
Jamie Oliver: Schooldinners.Watched ‘Return to Jamie’s School Dinner’s‘ last night. On the one hand I think what he’s trying to do is grand (as I talked about first time round). On the other hand he’s divvy’d the blamed up between the School Governors, the LEA, the Government, the local pub who pulled out, and finally the parents for packing the kids poor lunches. The one one group he hasn’t actually blamed is the supermarkets. Yes he should lay in to the Sec of State for Education (liked the bit about the Iraq and the ‘handler’ stepping in), but it’s ignoring the elephant in the room not to address the supermarkets, where most of the parents do the shop. He could probably achieve a great deal more by saying to Justin King’s face “take crisps, pop, cheeze straws off you’re shelves or I’m off to see if Tesco’s will do it”. Jamie vs Sainsbury’s - Who’s the bigger brand? This ‘anti-Jamie’ (better coverage here) story is interesting for it’s total madness.
BBC spoof vids - Now and Then
September 13, 2006
Bit of a ta-doo about this video in the Beeb at the moment. Natch the Daily Mail had a field day, but it must have been a hard call, choosing between slagging us off or condemning ‘political-correctness-gone-mad’, but I think we won by a nose, after all, the Mail can’t resists a pop at the beeb. Also most of the comments underneath from it’s own readers side on the ‘just a bit of fun’. My fave being “Look, I can’t stand the BBC, but this seems to be much to do about nothing. Don’t take it so personally. - M. Fernandez, Cpt, U.S. Army, Baghdad, Iraq
There’s been a lot of discussions between staff too. This weeks Ariel (internal BBC news paper) had:
page 1: “Bring back the fun says Peter Salmon”
Page 2: “Al-Jazeera spoof video is no laughing matter, says BBC”
Jeeeze, Someone also made a good point on our internal staff message boards.
Shame on the person that leaked it externally. Can’t people do a slightly dumb thing without it getting blown out of all proportion? And saying it’s licence fee money wasted. Come on. Does anyone seriously believe that has eaten up any licence fees? Also it’s, erm, how to put this politely? A bit rubbish.The British Army can do a better version than the mighty BBC!.
Indeed. Apparently some members of the top brass are furious. But is the problem the content, or that it leaked? Over lunch we talked about other BBC spoof videos. Here’s some pisstakes done by members of the public, the best being the slagging off of Grownups. Aye, and back in the day we really knew how to do PROPER PISS TAKES AND LEAVING VIDEOS OURSELVES! Check out this one featuring Suzi Quatro and the VT Christmas classic Legs & co.
